Kitten Love
by Roxius
Summary: During the early days of the Patriots, Ocelot finds himself falling in love...with Para-Medic! Ocelot X Para-Medic...yes, that's right. Please R & R! Spoilers for MGS4!


Ocelot had never felt this way before in his entire life; his palms became wet, his body shook all over, and his heart was pounding furiously against his chest. All of these strange, new symptoms...seemed to have started the moment he laid eyes on the woman Big Boss called 'Para-Medic'. She wasn't exactly the kind of woman who stood out in a crowd, like EVA, but she had this certain aura of beauty about her unlike any woman Ocelot had ever met before. He could easily tell she loved and cared for everyone and everything; a pure 'angel', in a sense.

Although he had recalled seeing her during the San Hieronymo takeover, Ocelot hadn't taken in the full aspect of her beauty until they met again as members of the Patriots, Major Zero's new organization to fulfill The Boss' wish for unity. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for Ocelot to realize Para-Medic had already set her eyes on someone; Big Boss. However, despite this major setback, Ocelot did not give up watching Para-Medic and learning everything he could to possibly win her over. So, to start off, he decided to interrogate some of her closest friends, namely, the other Patriots.

Sigint had just started brushing his teeth when Ocelot suddenly leapt out of the toliet, aimed a pistol at him, and snapped, "Tell me, bitch! Tell me everything there is to know about the woman known as Para-Medic!"

"Damn, man! How the hell did you come out of - you know what, I don't even want to know!" Sigint replied, still a bit off guard.

Sighing, Ocelot reached into his pocket and pulled out a single bullet. Sticking it into the gun, Ocelot said, "You know, I was gonna just try and freak you out into telling me, but now it looks like it'll take REAL bullets to get any information out of you..."

Sigint threw his hands into the air and cried, "H-Hold on, Ocelot! I know we're not exactly friends or anything, but there's no need to get hostile so quickly! Just...just...why do you want information on Para-Medic of all people? She's not an ex-convict or anything, I can assure you!"

Ocelot rolled his eyes, starting to wish he could just pull the trigger and end this pathetic man's life right here and now. But...killing this man will have to happen at a later time in life. "Listen, I just want to get closer to her...that's all." Ocelot explained, trying his best to keep himself from blushing.

Sigint almost burst out laughing when he realized Ocelot was most likely IN LOVE with Para-Medic! "S-S-So...y-you want infor-information, huh?" Sigint asked, doing his best to control himself. Ocelot grumbled underneath his breath and nodded in response. He had never felt so embarrassed with himself.

"JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN INFORMATION!" Ocelot eventually shouted, aiming the gun's barrel at the side of Sigint's head. Once he regained his composure, Sigint took a seat and began to explain all of the things he had learned about Para-Medic over the years.

"For one thing, she's disturbingly addicted to movies. She just can't stop talking about them. She also has rather vast knowledge about wildlife and fauna, but she doesn't like it when you ask her how they taste. She's very caring, and she's not too obsessed with things like make-up or jewelry. She's a very basic person...if you understand what I mean. It doesn't take too much to make her happy..."

Ocelot made sure to pay attention to every single word; he wrote it all down in the 'Hello Kitty' sketchpad he had stolen from Major Raikov at Groznyj Grad a few years back. When he was done, Ocelot stepped back into the toliet, flushed it, and went swirling down into the abyss. Sigint just shrugged in response and went into the other room.

* * *

The next day, Big Boss found Ocelot sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of Trix and reading his 'Hello Kitty' notebook. Taking a seat next to him, Big Boss asked, "Tell me, Ocelot...why are you looking at that disturbingly gay little notebook you stole from Major Raikov a few years back?"

Ocelot chuckled and spun the spoon in his hands the same way he did with his guns. "Well, JOHN, I am studying up on how to win over the ladies...namely, Para-Medic!"

"...That's great. Why do you always say my name in caps, anyway?" Big Boss replied.

"...What do you mean, JOHN?" Ocelot remarked.

Big Boss rolled his eyes. "Nothing. Just...forget it."

"I am going to make Para-Medic forget all about you and have her fall in love with me instead! That is the plan, JOHN!" Big Boss wished Ocelot good luck and went off to make himself some waffles and eggs for breakfast. For some odd reason, Big Boss was the only Patriot actually capable of cooking, which is probably thanks to his training with The Boss...and the fact he was left alone most of the time with no money to buy take-out in his youth.

Once he finished the rest of his cereal, Ocelot quickly ran off to locate Para-Medic. 'At best,' he thought, 'We should try and start out as friends. I can...I can ask her out to a movie or something! Yeah! That'd work! Damn, I'm good!' After getting directions(?) from EVA and Major Zero, Ocelot eventually came to his fated destination: Para-Medic's room. Standing outside the door, the blond gunman nervously raised his hand and gently knocked on the door about three times in a row.

After a moment, a familiar voice replied, "...Who is it?"

"U-Uh...it's O-O-Ocelot..."

"I'll be right there."

The door swung open and Para-Medic stepped out into the doorway. Although she was wearing just a simple T-shirt and blue jeans, Ocelot thought she looked even more amazing than usual. When she noticed his staring, Para-Medic asked, "Um...are you just going to stare at my breasts, or are we going to have a civil conversation?"

Blushing, Ocelot waved his hands around frantically as he exclaimed, "W-Wait! I wasn't...I wasn't...I was just amazed by your unmatching beauty, that's all! I-" Ocelot blushed even harder when he realized what he had just said. Para-Medic smiled softly at him and giggled, sending a tingle up Ocelot's spine.

"So...what do you want?" Para-Medic asked.

Ocelot swallowed the huge wad of spit forming in his throat and said, "I...that is, me...uhh...I thought we could go and see a movie together..."

"Which movie, exactly?" Para-Medic asked.

Ocelot mentally cursed himself for forgetting something so vital; he had forgotten to look up what movies were playing in local theatres!

"Uh...uh..."

He just continued to mumble like an idiot, feeling completely pathetic, until Para-Medic put a comforting hand on his shoulder and suggested, "Why don't we just go to the movie theatre and see what's playing, okay? I don't have anything to do today, so we can spend some time together. Since we're both Patriots, it would be best if we got to know each other better...right, Ocelot?"

Ocelot nodded and replied, "Y-Yeah! I totally understand! T-Thank you for accepting me! ...I mean...let's just go, okay?"

"Sure, let's get a move on! If there's anything good out, I want to make sure we get good seats!" Para-Medic replied before tossing on her coat and rushing down the hall in the blink of an eye. Ocelot sighed and thought, 'Thank god I didn't throw up on her...thank god...'

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Ocelot followed after Para-Medic, feeling rather proud of himself for "bagging a chick"...

* * *

Revolver Ocelot just stared at the burning wreckage that was once Dr. Clark's research lab. He had no look of shock or horror on his face...just an absent sadness. He knew the moment he saw the flames protruding into the sky that Dr. Clark did not make it out of there alive. Putting on his glasses, Ocelot turned his back to the fire and headed back to his helicopter; he still had to get back to Shadow Moses Island in time for Solid Snake's arrival.

However, as he took one last look over his shoulder, a single tear slid down his face as he whispered, "Sayonara...Para-Medic...I'm sorry...I couldn't save you..."

And with that, he flew off, never looking back...he still had things to do, starting with dealing with one certain Donald Anderson...


End file.
